Praying for Pain and a connection with Christ's sacrifice

An interesting note in the devotional material by Julian or Norwich.  She views pain as God's mercy which purges sin.  Julian actually wanted to experience Christ's pain on the cross, to have an intimate understanding of his sacrifice.  She truly felt  the need to have a physical connection with Christ suffering.

This is definitely not American Christianity.

As I read her thoughts, I realized that anyone who has suffered with a life-threatening illness must come to terms with pain and death in an intimate fashion.  I wonder if that type of experience can lead one to a deeper understanding of the cross and Christ's suffering.  I have seen people who have grown closer to God through extreme sickness.

I found it interesting that Julian also came to a realization that her life in this world was made more valuable through her near death experience.  She came to terms with death, and then wanted to survive death in order "to love God better and longer" with a hope that she could love him more deeply in this life than in the next.

So, should I pray for pain and trial in order to 1) know God more intimately, and 2) to know Christ's suffering more intimately, and 3) to allow the pain to push out my own selfishness and sinfulness by making me more like Christ?

I keep coming back to Philippians 3:10-11.  "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead." 

Somehow, Paul thought that if he suffered for the Gospel, then he shared in Christ's suffering, which would make him closer to Christ--somehow.  Paul states that by becoming like Christ in suffering and death, then he would attain(?) the resurrection.  Does he mean "earn"?  Or does he mean "participate"?

Paul has found a mystical connection between his life work and the death of Jesus.  What would happen if we were able to do the same?